Saturday, June 20, 2009
Stunna Shades
Now, if you aren't wearing Oakley shades, you might as well be retarded.
I'll be walking up the bank and be all "Oh shit, there's a nice fuckin trout."
People with me will squint, use their hands to block sunlight at all inflicting angles, or even abandon all senses and flat out lie,
"Oh, yeeaah. Right there." (Points at the water.)
Yeah right. Yeah fucking right. Fuckin fish isn't anywhere near where you pointed.
"You see him, huh?" - That dude don't see shit!
"Yeah I thought I saw something, but maybe not." -> Try these shades pimpin.
I say, fuck trying to see it, just see it. Oakley has the shit that is straight up gin clear polarized creek and flats pimpin shit. You see all the detail, all the time. Just how we need it.
I mean damn, look on the cover of Fly Fisherman. Wear shades like that and catch fish that big and be on the cover of Fly Fisherman, bitch.
I'll be walking up the bank and be all "Oh shit, there's a nice fuckin trout."
People with me will squint, use their hands to block sunlight at all inflicting angles, or even abandon all senses and flat out lie,
"Oh, yeeaah. Right there." (Points at the water.)
Yeah right. Yeah fucking right. Fuckin fish isn't anywhere near where you pointed.
"You see him, huh?" - That dude don't see shit!
"Yeah I thought I saw something, but maybe not." -> Try these shades pimpin.
I say, fuck trying to see it, just see it. Oakley has the shit that is straight up gin clear polarized creek and flats pimpin shit. You see all the detail, all the time. Just how we need it.
I mean damn, look on the cover of Fly Fisherman. Wear shades like that and catch fish that big and be on the cover of Fly Fisherman, bitch.
Friday, June 19, 2009
What happened....
Saturday was two Gary's (word stolen from KP) from downtown San Francisco, who could not grasp the idea of a drag-free dead-drift, instead implementing a Northwestern swung fly technique only to catch pike minnow after pike minnow. Great. Yet on the drifts where the fly actually got deep enough, trout were connected. Amazing.
Sunday was a good day with 2 dudes who could fish. Unfortunately one guy had a gimpy knee and had to cut out early, but not until he snapped photos of a 20" brown I patiently and skillfully coached his buddy into. Fucking sweet. We got a handful of rainbows too. Can you say tippity tip?
Then I heard a really interesting thing. A few days ago, a dude asked if you need a license to fly fish.
"Hmmmm," I thought, "This guy cannot be serious...?" This would be a good time to use Red Foreman's my foot in your ass signature line....
"Yeah you actually DO need a license to fly fish, and they are $50, cash." Is what I wanted to say, however, I didn't say anything and just let the other dudes do the explaining.
Also caught an 8" striper that nearly pulled the rod out of my hand. Ok maybe not, but it was a striper. That counts, right?
Sunday was a good day with 2 dudes who could fish. Unfortunately one guy had a gimpy knee and had to cut out early, but not until he snapped photos of a 20" brown I patiently and skillfully coached his buddy into. Fucking sweet. We got a handful of rainbows too. Can you say tippity tip?
Then I heard a really interesting thing. A few days ago, a dude asked if you need a license to fly fish.
"Hmmmm," I thought, "This guy cannot be serious...?" This would be a good time to use Red Foreman's my foot in your ass signature line....
"Yeah you actually DO need a license to fly fish, and they are $50, cash." Is what I wanted to say, however, I didn't say anything and just let the other dudes do the explaining.
Also caught an 8" striper that nearly pulled the rod out of my hand. Ok maybe not, but it was a striper. That counts, right?
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Friday, May 29, 2009
Don't miss the Black Ant Hatch!
Because the Black Ant Hatch is only going on for a few more weeks, according to one source......Make sure you have many sizes, shapes, and shades of black for this particular insect, across all lifestages - nymph, pupa, emerger, cripple, adult, because you know, the fucking black ants are so anatomically diverse and shit.
Make sure to use the term Black Ant Hatch - people will know you that you know your shit when you use this term. And when speaking intelligently about this rare yet prolific "hatch", don't you fucking throw them sunburned Red Ant cousins in there. Fuck the red ant hatch its all about the Black Ant Hatch. I don't want to see you stepping up to the creek with a half red, half black mutant motherfucking ant pattern either. Use a sharpie, Einstein.
Black Ant Hatch. I didn't realize that ants hatch. I guess there's more than them just popping outta eggs and crawling all over me when I'm sitting on the bank trying to get the damn top off my klean kanteen. But the last time I checked, ants are a fucking terrestrial insect. So there's really no hatch at all............
Make sure to use the term Black Ant Hatch - people will know you that you know your shit when you use this term. And when speaking intelligently about this rare yet prolific "hatch", don't you fucking throw them sunburned Red Ant cousins in there. Fuck the red ant hatch its all about the Black Ant Hatch. I don't want to see you stepping up to the creek with a half red, half black mutant motherfucking ant pattern either. Use a sharpie, Einstein.
Black Ant Hatch. I didn't realize that ants hatch. I guess there's more than them just popping outta eggs and crawling all over me when I'm sitting on the bank trying to get the damn top off my klean kanteen. But the last time I checked, ants are a fucking terrestrial insect. So there's really no hatch at all............
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